Someone once told me that the brain cannot distinguish between fear and excitement. I put it to the test!
Let me introduce myself. I am Amanda Murray, Hypnotherapist and Health Coach. I have been treating people physically and mentally for the last 15 years but there are certain challenges that still scare me and leave me feeling slightly numb and unable to act. What is this all about? Here are my thoughts…
I have always considered myself as reasonably fearless in that I recognise the fear and, after some consideration, just jump in and say YES I will do it. However, this time I have found that policy is not really working for me.
My fear is writing a blog!
Yep, it seems silly but there it is. On analysis my fear comes down to the basics that I am actually familiar with, as I witness this in clients all the time. It is all too easy though to avoid the real reasons when it comes to your own actions. The real fear is:
Fear I will run out of things to write about.
Fear I will not be interesting or informative.
Fear I am not a good enough writer.
Basically FEAR OF FAILURE. FEAR OF THE FUTURE. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
Some people have amygdala’s (danger sensing region of the brain) that are hyper responsive to danger (apparently). I also have the Enneagram personality type 1 which means the message I have learned is “its not okay to make mistakes”. So what’s a person to do? I found that changing my inner voice to “I’m excited to write this blog” instead of “EEEEEK” has helped me enormously.
Here’s the thing…our brain is designed to keep us safe. In attempting to keep us safe it does not always like change and so encourages us to stay in our comfort zone even if that zone is not helpful. In order to grow as a human being we need change, we need variety otherwise we stagnate, we ruminate, we turn our attention inwards as we realise we are not reaching our full potential and this causes anxiety, depression and illness. Whilst another of our HUMAN NEEDS is to feel secure and safe, we must also embrace change and variety and here are some ways I have found helpful in breaking the impasse.
Break it down into small steps. What can you do to move forward even if its only a small step? Aim for progress not perfection.
Ask yourself honestly “Whats the worst that can happen?”. Sometimes we get carried away and embellish the “future” when in reality we can never predict the future.
Act. Sometimes we just need to do it! (As long as its not dangerous!) It may be scary at the time but then there is the buzz afterwards that makes you think “I could do that again” or “what was all the fuss about”
Instead of asking “why” ask “how” questions. E.G. “why do I always do ….” could be ” how can I do that differently so I can get a different result”. “Why” questions keep us stuck. Give yourself the power.
These are a few suggestions to play with. Give 1 or 2 a go and see how that works for you. Even the smallest change can lead you in a new direction and free you from the shackles of helplessness and inaction. If you do need help I’m only a phone call away. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. That is a topic for another day…
I leave you with this saying that a client reminds me of A LOT!
This life is not a dress rehearsal.
So this is me taking that leap into the unknown and writing my first blog. Feeling the fear and calling it excitement.
Let’s make changes that matter.